There are times in our lives when we feel stuck, in a state of inertia, unable to move forward, unable to take action, unable to improve our lives. We might be miserable and unsatisfied with our current circumstances, we may be unhappy and not know why, we may want to change some part of our lives, leave an old life behind, find more fulfilment. Sometimes we do not even know where we want to be, and sometimes where we want to be can seem like a mountain we need to climb. We can wait for outside opportunities, something to come along that will be the catalyst for change; a person, situation or thing, to make things better. We can then blame others for our staying stuck, life for its unfairness and we use a whole myriad of excuses for being held back. But our lives, our decisions, our choices, are ours to make, ours to own. Things cannot improve or change unless we understand our blockages, own our situation, and become the author of our own lives.
What can we do then, to move us through these challenges, so that we do not risk a lifetime of mediocre living, of being stuck in patterns and lifestyles that no longer serve us? It is not always that simple and we often do not know where to begin, where to start, where to go. Our brains are wired towards the need for certainty, routine and control, and change can challenge our very nature. Doing things differently can invoke fear in us, fear of failure, fear that we will not be accepted by those we love, and can also mean the loss of an old life and letting go of people, places, and things. If we stay as we are we can avoid these associated challenges and uncomfortable feelings, but once we understand the thoughts, emotions and circumstances surrounding why we feel stuck, we can work with this temporary discomfort in times of transition and uncertainty.
With acceptance and patience we can enter into a new phase, a new chapter, a new sense of self, and a renewed sense of fulfilment. Sometimes we need that little bit of help and support, to free us from our perceived helplessness, and give us the support we need to move forward. Often support is best sought from a non-judgemental place of acceptance outside of our inner circle, to explore our purpose and change our perspective, so that we can have hope and believe in ourselves, to make the changes we need to make and be the people we want to be.
Life may continue to give us messages when we feel stuck, when things need to change, we feel unhappy, we need to find a new purpose, we need to take action and release what isn’t working, and let go of that no longer serves us. We are sometimes unaware of these messages and they may continuously reappear to help us learn from them, so that we can move forward.
When it all feels overwhelming and you don’t know where to begin, remember the words of Chinese philosopher, Lai Tzu: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.
How will you take that first step?
Article Written by:
Cheryl Aarlit
Transformative Coach